We all have coping mechanisms.  This is one of the threads in life that ties us all together and pulls us apart at the same time.  One of my coping mechanisms over the course of my life has been radical independence.  Coping mechanisms can work really well in our favor and really well against us when out of balance.

Independence out of balance in my life looks like reclusion, dissociation and emotional detachment.  When my independent nature is in balance, a healthy dose of self - reliance mixed with approachability is most prevalent.  In this space, I am more likely to share my true nature with others.  


This is why it is essential for me to have a daily practice that provides me with the inner nourishment I need to access my ability to choose balance between separateness and connectedness and to live openheartedly with the ones who dare to do the same.     

When we share our life stories, our inner struggles, our joys, pains, sorrows and ourselves fully with others, we are able to develop deep and meaningful personal connections.... when it is reciprocal, that is, accompanied by courage and trust.  When we share with others, we connect on a soul level, beyond the superficial, beyond the personality alone.  

Through this web of connection, we gain greater insight into both ourselves and others.  We begin to realize how much more of the same we are than different And from that space, our capacity for compassion and empathy grows.  

For too many years of my life, I lived in the former and was missing out on this life right here in front of me.  Life's sacred moments - the here and the now and true connection with myself and with others. While my whole being yearned for heartful connections, I lacked the know - how and was terrified to create this reality for myself.  Radical independence became my refuge, or so I thought.  

Once I began attending to the here and the now and sitting with my own feelings, an abundance of positive and sincere interpersonal connections began to flow in my life.  Like attracts like.  It's that simple.  I finally began to meet people with the same intentions as I, people deeply invested in knowing both themselves and others deeply.

When we make time to be with and feel our own feelings, we are better able to choose connection over disengagement (emotional detachment) and provide nourishment to our inner selves.  When we nurture our connections with others, we renew our connection to self.  If we are not tuned into our own feelings and emotions and if we are not willing to share our innermost selves with others, we will undoubtedly miss out on the essence of life.

If you are feeling called to connect with yourself and other women in a safe and supported atmosphere, join me for a Self - Renewal Half - Day Retreat for Women on May 7th at Move It Studio in Lititz.  We will rest, reflect, recharge and renew.  Makes the perfect Mother's Day Gift!  For more details, visit here and click here to register.

Meanwhile, take some time to connect to yourself with these 7 simple steps.

In whole health,